The annoyances of FourSquare

It is not my cup of tea at the moment but as many things change in life, this blog entry should be considered for what it is - a brain fart particular to my state of mind, overall consciousness and vision of the world at this exact time of posting.

'location based social networking'

I noticed Google's Latitude some years ago and even though it was touted by many as a new way to interact with friends, I stopped using it about 1 week after I installed it on my mobile.  Basically, Google Latitude used the gps functionality in my mobile to show my whereabouts in (almost) real time.  Being the technology junkie as I am, I tried it out first and thought about it later. Upon thinking about it, I decided to drop the app as I didn't want the 'world' to know where I was at all times.

Foursquare is a 'new and improved' Google Latitude - literally - and I know I'm cutting corners here.  Google Latitude is the evolved version of the 'Dodgeball' graduation thesis project of Dennis Crowley, who is surprisingly a co-founder of Foursquare.  Foursquare enables you to connect with your friends using either a computer or a smartphone.  The smartphone app will also update your location in real time using your gps data.   What makes Foursquare different is the way that the users can interact with the locations each time you 'check in'.  Anyone can tag a location like a bar, a restaurant, a parking lot, a house, ... which makes it a potential place to 'check in' if you (or rather your smartphone) is in the neighborhood.  Owners of commercial venues use this tagging to provide special treats, pricing, incentives... to anyone that 'checks in' as you being at that place will show up on your personal profile web page - possibly triggering some of your friends to join you and hence add to the commercial benefit of the venue.

Me on Foursquare (indeed a short paragraph)

Ok, I expected Foursquare to be more social and entertaining in general so I created an account to check it out.  Being used to Facebook, I didn't find anything new on the 'connecting with friends' part and as with Google Latitude, I still didn't want everyone I know my whereabouts at all times.  You see, the problem lies not in the technology but with the user: given my lack of free time I will not always properly tag new 'friends' as either close friends, work related, bosses, and so on ... so I always risk revealing my location to that one person that I don't want to know about it.

Next to that, why on earth would anyone be interested in me being a the bakery or the gas station anyway?  So I cancelled the account hoping to continue my happy life ...

Happy life?

My experience so far is divided in annoyance-related feelings and 'people are idiots' feelings (thank you Larry Winget for the term 'ditto-head').   First of all - and this is likely to only be the tip of the iceberg - people don't censor their information.  Just because you can send me unsolicited messages about stuff I'm absolutely not interested about does not give you the right to annoy me with them.

I don't care about the bar or cafe you are in at 16h00, nor that you arrived a such and such customer's office during working hours.  And I definitely don't want a listing of the waypoints on the motorway while you are taking a 100km drive.  Either get a life or learn about the technology you're using!  Those waypoints are defined by a moron with nothing else to do than clutter your experience with garbage.  Look at your profile page and for God's sake, don't let your Foursquare app decide for you!  Thinking and deciding for yourself is not all that difficult.

Most people I know are 'concerned' about their privacy when filling in online forms ... hasn't anyone considered that putting your location for grabs is a severe breach of privacy?  You being at a bar is a genuine good argument for a burglar ... especially if he can see when you are heading home.  Buying jewelry for your wife while being connected on Foursquare?  She'll have to fake the surprise smile from now on.  Aiming for a new job?  Don't go to the interview while your boss sees you 'checking in' with the competition.

I covered some aspects on this in my blog "why localized social media is not as harmless as it seems"

Connecting People?  Don't think so ...

People are connecting on too many social networks because they can, because the networks lure us with promises of friendships and 'getting to know interesting people', because as I see it, a lot of people prefer connecting with their laptop instead of connecting with other people.  I don't mean this as a personal attack, it is just an observation.  This is where Larry's 'ditto-heads' definition applies: people that shut down their brain and copy behavior of others.

Social network users don't take the time to actually read and learn about the functionality.  They assume that it is working the way they expect.  This is where the idiot factor comes in. For instance, you could use Facebook for connecting your friends, LinkedIn for your co-workers, colleagues, customers and even your boss, you may use Twitter for whatever need you have to put your brain farts out there.  Unfortunately, these networks are getting interconnected and users get lost in the types of people that can read which of your messages:  This means that any message gets distributed to all the networks depending on exactly those privacy settings you didn't take time to read about.  Your boss on LinkedIn will see the 'I'm drunk' picture that your friend posted on your Facebook wall, your Facebook family will read your Tweets about how you really think about marriage, family...

I am only connected on Facebook and LinkedIn.  I'm retiring other accounts for being obsolete or too cumbersome.  Even though I have some 300 friends, I do see half of them every 2 weeks as these are people I dance with.  Those I don't see for 6 months get 'unfriended' which is a weird thing as upon being 'unfriended', they try to get in touch to understand why they were 'retired'.  Hmmm ... as if human interaction wasn't complicated already, here comes the digital break-up, sobbing, ranting...

Call me!

New 'visionaries' are building new ways for people to interact ... how about the old way? How about just talking to each other?  The telephone was invented some 135 years ago, why not give it a try?  Most people use their smartphone to send text messages ?!  Seems that they don't really get what the initial and core functionality of the device is all about.  Even so, given the state of spelling of those messages, I guess the phone is indeed the smarter one.

 

Guerilla Gardening

I just came across the term 'guerilla gardening' when checking some blogs on landscaping and urbanism and it immediately stuck in my mind.  The combination of both words generated the most intriguing thoughts and images in my head so I had to stop doing what I planned and find out more.

History:

The earliest record of the term "guerilla gardening" being used was by Liz Christy and her Green Guerilla Group in 1973 in the Bowery Houston area of New York.  They transformed a derelict private lot into a garden.  The space is still cared for by volunteers but now enjoys the protection of the city's parks department.

Two celebrated guerilla gardeners, active prior to the coining of the term, were Gerrard Winstanley of the Diggers in Surrey, England (1649) and John "Appleseed" Chapman in Ohio, USA (1801).

Guerilla gardening takes place in many parts of the world (over 30 countries are documented) and evidence can be found online in numerous guerilla gardening social networking groups and in the community pages of

GuerillaGardening.org

This web site holds the most amazing stories of people that take it upon themselves to embellish their urban environment by adding nature to the cement.  I have seen truly amazing pictures of transformations where men and women of all ages decide to e.g. plant some tulips in areas where the sidewalk missed some tiles, remodel the existing flowerbeds because the local parks department couldn't be bothered to take out the weeds,...

This web site is owned by the alpha guerilla gardener Richard Reynolds.  As a typical Brit, Richard loves gardening and when he moved from Devon to the concrete area of London in 2004, he got tired of seeing the raised flowerbed at his front door neglected and overgrown.
He missed gardening so much that one night he got up, dug up the flowerbed himself and planted cuttings his mum gave him.

Since 2004 he's collected more than 4000 members to his beautification movement.  Most of these sneak around under the cover of night, shirking the laws and regulations regarding cultivating public lands.  Some of them - including Richard and team - almost got arrested, yet usually let off with a warning.  After all, who wants to be the cop that ensures public safety and welfare by getting the gardeners of the street, one rogue gardener at a time.

The main and only downside is the law.  Cultivating public lands does not seem so bad but when you consider that these pet projects can grow out of control ... some guidance should be available.  Maybe one of the projects withers and dies, leaving a weed-infested mess or on a more ridiculous scale, how about a nice field of corn in the middle of your favorite park?

Final thoughts:

I wonder however what a 30 year old man is doing out all hours of the night gardening?  And although this has caught on in the states (see video), there might be some reasons to keep on doing it under cover of the night:

• Anyone referring to themselves as "guerilla" breaking the law under cover of the night would possibly find themselves tending to the gardens of Guantanamo Bay.
• Immigrants have the landscaping market cornered but if you are doing it for free in the cool night as opposed to the scorching heat of the sun, you might spend the rest of your days ever suspicious that there is a thirty year old pickup laden with rakes in your rear view mirror.

 

Design for sustainability - indoor lighting using sun and water

This is in fact very simple but definitely extremely ingenious: an automatic on/off interior solar lamp invented by Mr Alfredo Moser, an auto mecanic in Brasil.

In 2002, during a long electrical shortage, at Uberaba, São Paulo, Brasil, Mr Alfredo Moser discovered a way to gather sun light in the house through plastic bottles hanging from the roof.

He noticed that a clear two-liter bottle reflected the sun light very brightly when filled with water.  As an auto mecanic, he had to keep his auto shop lit during the day and while there is sufficient sun light, the cost of rooflights and glazing is very high compared to the average Brazilian income. Given that Brazil has an abundance of sun light, he decided to experiment with a solution that enables him to keep on working during the electric outage and potentially save on his electric bills later on.

His construction: take a 2 liter water bottle, fill it with clear water and 2 caps of chloride to keep bacteria from clouding the water.  Cover the bottle-cap with a photo-roll capsule to protect it from UV and fit the bottle in a hole in your roof.

As a result the sun greatly brightened his workspace through the refracting water in the plastic bottle.  The bottle is just refracting sun light very effectively and produces an equivalent light power compared to a 50/60W lamp. In a rainy day, even without much light and direct sun, one still have some light.

In a country with high level of poverty resulting in tiny living spaces cramped together, there are many rooms that don't even have windows.  Mr Alfredo's solution has already helped many families add light into their homes.  Some of these water lamps have been in place for over two years in many rooms. They have never needed to be replaced. They are maintenance free and the cement sealer holds them in place for a long time.

To turn them off, just cover them with e.g. a plastic bucket or wait till the sun sets :-)

Scientist have visited Mr Alfredo Moser and are looking into ways to take this concept to maximize its potential

These kind of ideas that are simple but highly efficient are quintessential in finding a solution to our energy problems. More importantly there needs to be a platform for tinkerers and inventors to share ideas and collaborate. Large companies and fancy startups do bring allot to the table - however, in most cases it’s the average Joe working in his garage or on his computer that finds an amazing solution.

Design for sustainability - old magazines wall

The Swedish architecture firm Elding Oscarson has created some unique partition walls for a graphics company's new office layout.

They used stacks of old magazines in a recycle-extravaganza which not only creates a very warm effect but also provides a striking linear pattern which I personally like.  The sound muffling characteristics of the material will likely generate a softer atmosphere in the adjacent rooms.

I would love to see more of these types of lovely and meaningful installations in corporate environments.  Having suited-up for about a decade, I can testify to the huge amounts of glossy magazines full of prettiness that are scattered throughout the offices and lobbies.

 

Design for sustainability - the memory drawers

Tejo Remy designed this chest of drawers in 1991 based on some pondering on how the human mind stores memories. He called it "you can't lay down your memory" and designed an extremely functional piece of furniture with - maybe unknowingly - quite an environmental impact. The drawers are all old and used but they are fit into a new housing. The housings are arranged in a stable but somewhat chaotic setup held together with a jute strap.

I believe that the metaphor of the system of the cognitive mind works pretty well. Basically the drawers we arrange our memories in have different ages, feel differently and are likely to vary in shape, size and color the same way as memories of a love affair will likely be kept in a nicer drawer than the recordings of an accident, a divorce or a lay-off.  We all build our lives based on what we find around us and how we deal with these findings, and the chest is setup in just the same way: the drawers are second hand and diverse/unpredictable but fit into a new housing to fit their new purpose. This makes every piece of this chest unique.  You can order them at www.droog.com.

No two pieces will be the same but I can imagine that the content of each drawers will be revealing some of the owner's feelings while the drawers will hint to possible mysteries hidden in them.

I cannot but wonder what job description they hired the drawer-picker with ...

Tejo Remy works as a product, interior and public space designer together with Rene Veenhuizen in Utrecht, the Netherlands. Considering everything as material, Remy incorporates existing information, circumstances, or found goods into new situations, often bringing in more social contact or, telling the story of a particular place. Remy transforms the familiar, yet the feeling remains.
His commissioners and exhibitors include Museum of Art and Design in New York, Bartow-Pell Mansion Museum in New York, MoMA in New York, Stedelijk Musuem in Amsterdam, Museum Boymans van Beuningen in Rotterdam, ACME Gallery in Los Angeles and the Netherlands Ministry of Housing, Spatial Planning and the Environment.

More on Tejo Remy can be found at www.remyveenhuizen.nl

Vikings and their dragons: what REALLY happened

Being interested in all things Viking, especially their ships which carried a dragon-head on the bow of the ship, I want to understand where their dragon-concept comes from.

According to Wikipedia “Dragons are legendary creatures, typically with serpentine or otherwise reptilian traits, that feature in the myths of many cultures. The two most familiar interpretations of dragons are European dragons, derived from various European folk traditions and ultimately related to Greek and Middle Eastern mythologies, and the unrelated Chinese dragon. The English word "dragon" derives from Greek δράκων (drákōn), "dragon, serpent of huge size, water-snake", which probably comes from the verb δρακεῖν (drakeîn) "to see clearly".”

By the way, searching the internet for ‘dragon’ returns about 120.000.000 results (no kidding). Seems that even nowadays people still write about these creatures. Not that there has been a shortage of writings about them: dragons have been mentioned for centuries and have even been referred to in Illias by the Greek poet Homer around 800BC (some refer to 11th century BC) but unfortunately the Greek word used could also mean 'snake'. Earliest old English writings on dragons are dated 13th century AD in the context of medieval bestiaries and legends.

Now comes the interesting part: how come that my Nordic heroes were aware of dragons some 500 years before the earliest Old English writing?

Aha. Now that I have your attention, let me tell you what we are taught in class and how this is so NOT what happened.

History as we were meant to believe:

The Viking age was between 8th and 11th century AD, when they were mostly occupied roaming European shores and beyond. Even though Vikings have travelled as far as the Black sea and Caspian sea, have traded as far as Baghdad and were regular traders with the Byzantine emporium, dragons are not mentioned in those areas until much later. Time wise in Viking history this doesn't explain the dragon-head either as it took them 200 years to get as far as the Black sea (10th century AD) and by then their ships already had the dragon head on the bow.

Vikings also travelled west passing Greenland and an expedition under Leif Eriksson landed around 1000 AD way before Columbus in North America. The crew had a settlement in Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada. No mention of dragons there either ... seems the Inuit had a reptilian dragon-like monster tale even though (living in a frigid environment unsuited for cold-blooded animals) they have never seen an actual reptile [1]

So none of their expeditions brought them closer to dragons. Mind you that their boats already had the dragon head on the bow during their expeditions in the 8th century AD.

What do scientists say?

The common ‘scientific’ hypothesis is that dragon myths might be motivated by primitive discoveries of dinosaur fossils. Another hypothesis is covered in "An instinct for dragons" by David E. Jones. Although severely bashed by Paul Jordan-Smith in 2002 for being bereft of data, clarity and logic [2], I wouldn't just through the concept away.

Jones claims that the common traits of dragons seem to be an amalgam of the principal predators of our ancestral hominids (great apes), which he names as the raptors, elephants, horses, great cats (especially leopards) and pythons. The hypothesis to which Jones conforms is that over millions of years of evolution, members of a species will evolve an instinctive fear of their predators, and he proposes ways in which these fearful images may be merged in artistic or cultural expression to create the dragon image.

Try to demonstrate and prove THAT! Ok, not everything can be empirically demonstrated but I do feel a tendency to chuckle when he mentions millions of years of evolution, and find it hard to believe that our species would still be unconsciously influenced by the nightmares of our ancestors or their earliest predecessors.

Some considerations before we continue:

Going back to my Viking heroes:  no large cats, no large snakes, no elephants and yes, they had horses but those were either food or large pets. Even if Vikings would have some relatively dangerous predators on their path, Vikings had stubbornness issues so they would not run nor surrender to their fear.

Maybe the Vikings did find frozen fossils including more than just the bones and as such they may be part of the reason why the rest of us only finds just the bones: Vikings are known for their hungry nature and large meat parties ... throwing a velociraptor on the BBQ can keep a small village happy for one night, no doubt about that.

Anyhow,

The true story as I was told:

Dragons come from the land of Draconia which is situated north of Norway. In the old days Jewish astronomers associated the constellation Draco with the North Pole. The dragons being geographically close to the Vikings and the Vikings not being afraid of anything, they ended up living together.

“How could that be?” you say …

Well they had a good relationship and lived on equal terms. Dragons assisted the Vikings in transporting goods and soldiers in the air and saw this as an opportunity to expand their horizon and meet new people. In return, the Vikings cleaned the dragons regularly - similar to you cleaning your car’s windshield - wiping off flies, mud and the occasional small bird.

Even though dragons could catch their own meals, the finer cuisine required smaller animals which were more difficult for dragons to catch. This is where Vikings came in: hunting rabbits, boar and birds. Food preparation was a joint effort where dragons did most of the roasting and the eating.  To this day we still remember the Vikings as wild party animals that ate tremendous amounts of food … the party atmosphere can be attributed to the Vikings but the eating would be the dragon’s doing.

Why did these dragons breath fire?

That is basically a bad habit.  It is important to understand that Vikings used foul language and cursed a lot. The dragon’s upbringing was much more focused on etiquette and proper social behavior but too much contact with the Vikings made the dragons use foul language too.

One day the dragon leader noticed the change in behavior and ruled that foul language would not be accepted anymore for dragons. Instead they were allowed to breath fire which they did. Especially when under attack the dragons would use foul language whenever an arrow or spear would hurt them. Since their leader’s ruling, they started roasting their enemies which turned out more efficient as well.

So the English did see the dragons?

We should suppose they did, although the dragons tried to keep away from the battle.  In the very early days of Viking conquests, they actually used the dragons to cross over to England, flying very low over the waves in the mist.  At times the dragons could paddle using their feet while soaring over the sea which some decades later inspired the Vikings to build their renown ships.

Some people might have seen them soaring over the sea and those with a keen eye might not have mistaken them for fast ships. Dragons have been confronted in battle whenever there was no landing spot on a faraway beach or field and have never failed to roast the odd Celt. It is a hardly known fact that in the mid 700’s some of the dragons became ill after eating some of the Celtic food. I don’t know if the food was of bad taste or maybe just gone bad but the dragons were so startled by this that they killed all English that witnessed the event and they made sure that any others would not disclose the information at risk of being toast during the next raid.

Of course the Viking noticed this as well and for them the dragons had lost some of their magic and appeal because of their slightly sensitive stomach. So Vikings started assessing the impact on their image and decided that dragons were out and wood was in.

Wood was in?

Well, there was plenty of wood to be found in Norway and Denmark. Don’t forget that the Vikings started trading on commercial terms instead of raiding the areas and they required more transport.   Inspired by the dragon form, they build their viking ships with a similar dragon head, paddles that represented the wings and a large body with a tail.   From afar one would not notice the difference as the ships were very efficient and almost as fast as a real dragon.

In the beginning they used fossil dragon skulls on the bow but the ratio ships/fossils being at their disadvantage they moved to carving wood instead.   Vikings did manage to keep their image of hardened soldiers and commercial traders, partly due to the carved dragon heads on the ship’s bow.

Over time (13th century?) the whispered tales of dragons got louder and someone decided to write the tale down as by then the dragons had become part of the land of legends and myths.

What happened to the dragons?

Most of the dragons returned to their northern lair and their nation turned to themselves. There have been some occasions where dragons reached out again but the Vikings were too high on their victories to accept and chased the dragons away.

Some dragons migrated to other regions hoping to start a new life, learning new skills. The most famous dragon left his Scottish lake some 20 years ago after he noticed that however good he learned to swim, the New Celts would still be chasing him with their boats. He was the last to return to the land of Draconia.

As you all know, depression and acquired stubbornness often rule each other out but in the case of dragons I wouldn’t bet on it. I believe that they are still very much alive and frustrated in their land and as it it situated near the north pole, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Chandler Wobble - the ‘natural’ deviation of the earth’s axis [3] - is partly due to the dragons.

 



 

[1] David E. Jones, An Instinct for Dragons (Routledge, 2002) — ISBN 0-415-93729-9

[2] http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3732/is_200204/ai_n9025632/

[3] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chandler_wobble

6 Creative ideas to decorate your wall

A wall is just a wall, isn't it? A vertical obstacle in space that hopefully divides your living space in more comfortable sizes. Next to that you can hang stuff on it.

However, some designers think differently about those walls and come up with very interesting ways of decorating them.

1. Using paint strips:

This designer wanted a colorful yet affordable way to decorate the bedroom wall. He visited Home Depot every day for a few weeks, taking in total around 1000 paint swatches with him. Next step: arranging the collection in the desired pattern and glue it to the wall. For you readers interested in this approach but not in the commute to your local DIY store: call up the paint distributor and they will probably send you the samples at a small fee. [link]

 

2. Wall graphics:

One of many fancy, funny, interesting... graphics.  this one would also look nice at the IT department [link]

 

3. Warping wallpaper:

This German company makes custom wallpaper that looks like it is being distorted by the elements in and on the wall. [link]



 

4. Light emitting wallpaper:

I love this concept from Jonas Samson.  He designed this new approach to embedded technology, using oled (organic light-emitting diodes) into the textile.  Your wall wears the light.  This might be the new night-light for your kids. [link]

 

5. Pixelnotes:

Duncan Wilson received 2nd price for his concept of a 4-layered wall paper that is basically a set of usable post-it alike notes.  Every 'deeper' layer is slightly darker making the functional wall also become a graphical representation of our daily use of the room. [link]

 

 

6. Wooden panels - the unusual way:

Paul Coudamy has used wooden panels found 'where ever' to decorate the walls and ceiling of an internet cafe in Paris, generating a warm cave-like sensation and I guess the acoustics will be great too.  This is a great recycling idea!  [link]

 

 

Max

I had a Labrador when I was young, a breed that is/was used to retrieve shot down birds during the hunt and I never understood exactly why on earth people would use labradors for that job. Mine chewed on anything 'interesting' that she could get her paws on so what would be the point of using her during hunting season. "Look honey, I shot 8 pounds of minced meat". Aside from this, my Bow was the most perfect dog around.

Being an animal lover I really wanted to have a similar canine companion in Holland. Luckily for me, my wife was determined to have a dog too.



Max isn't a labrador despite his appearance. He will probably have an ancestor that was tied to the breed but Max' behavior is typical for a German Shorthaired Pointer. He is eager to learn and even more eager to play fetch ... he fetches whatever you throw away and brings it back to you ... everything except for what he believes is eatable. This is the part where his Labrador state kicks in :-)

He's all business when it comes to work. He is so focused that he anticipates on possible commands which make it seem as if he's not behaving. What really happens is that I have to make him less eager all the time.

When we go for a walk around the block he knows the routine and whenever I change the path he remembers the route from an earlier walk so he wants to show me that he remembers. Most of the time he is subtle about this: he will walk next to me but slightly ahead and whenever I stop or slow down he will turn around and assume his initial position where his shoulders are next to me and likely also sit down. No commands involved.

He is determined to execute all jobs I give him to the extent that he will also repeat the jobs I once had him do. So returning empty Coke bottles (1,5 L) myself is a thing of the past. Max picks them up and stares at me until I accompany him to the storage. He needs me to open the door, take the bottle from him and put it away in our Coke-crate.

He is guarding and protecting our two cats in a way that is annoying for the female cat as she prefers to be by herself. The male cat and Max go out for walks in the garden or in the forest and whenever I accidentally lock the cat out, Max will behave anxiously and stay at the back door until I open it again.

When he is not working he is looking for attention, wants to be cuddled and at times still believes he is a puppy. He tries to climb on my lap, plays with cat toys the same way he sees the cats do and picks up the tiniest objects with his small front teeth. He is truly a member of the family.

Max also learned me a lesson in priorities: I started teaching him to bring me my slippers and it went well until I realized that I had to teach him to count and bring both of them. The counting part is still not moving along as I would like, my slippers however are moving all day long.

Taking the lama out for a walk

I love to take my dog Max out for a walk. Some days ago during a walk in the area I stumbled across a weird sign. You should know that Dutch communities really take the pet's interest at heart and that all residential areas have dog walking zones and assigned dog playing fields.

These zones are clearly indicated by signposts but for some reason I didn't link the image to the dog ... is it me or would this be the assigned lama-zone?

Mushrooms, our new enemy?

Some of you may know that I am an avid cook and mushrooms have been one of my favorite ingredients over the last two decades - not sure what started it - for their flavor and for their ability to 'meat-up' a dish.

I am aware that they are essentially fungi but their appearance is less icky than their cousins' which sneak into your sealed tupperware to camp for weeks just to surprise you with their colors, patterns and odor whenever you open the box later on.

Today I believe I detected the first signs of hostility from the mushrooms I cooked. Sure, most of the time I use the fresh product and they seem (still) to be pretty harmless, but the dried variety is of a much darker breed.
Maybe they detest the way they are treated which I can relate to as having the water evaporated from my body would not make me the most happy person alive either.
Maybe it is the small packs they are sold in, avoiding them to make much new friends. They are after all a very social fungus, I never saw a mushroom all by itself in a forest ... unless it is a trick to attract innocent animals. Mushrooms hunt in packs you know.

Obviously the above treatment would annoy any mushroom but for preparation I put them into a small bowl and poured boiling water over them. Now THAT would piss me off too.

I believe they waited patiently for their revenge as later on, they ever so slightly nudged my left ring finger under the blade of my knife when I was chopping them. I got away with only minor injury but the next batches of mushrooms I will prepare will be subject to my anger and vengeance.

I will not tolerate any mutiny in my kitchen!